A Visit from St. Nicholas, aka The Night Before Christmas, is a poem from 1837 by Clement Clark Moore that we all know by heart. File this under too much time on my hands. A few things I noticed re-reading it, this year.

5. Santa smokes!

  The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,  
  And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

4. In the 1820s, houses could have shutters on the inside

  Away to the window I flew like a flash,
  Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

3. Santa uses magic to get up the chimney like Samantha on Bewitched

  And laying his finger aside of his nose,
  And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

2. The reindeer and the sleigh are tiny

  When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
  But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.


1. Santa, himself, is an ELF!

  He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,


Let's say you owned eight flying reindeer. You'd be hard pressed to pick a better name than, Comet.

Until, of course, you thought of Donner and Blitzen.
Why? Because, those names are German for thunder and lightning.

Santa is so metal.

Dancer and Prancer must be pissed.